One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
