she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Everyone says I win the strip club
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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