I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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