Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
