His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
