I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
This is classic penis vs brain.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
