well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
