What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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