just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
