Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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