i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
