I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
