Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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