i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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