I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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