This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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