am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
