yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
