The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
