some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
