if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
