You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
