you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
