i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
