i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
