New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
