Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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