Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
