I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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