Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize
