Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
