She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
