and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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