**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
