The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
you made out with another girl for some wings
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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