I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
