; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
well you can't waste a boner
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
