Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
