your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
