part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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