So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
