she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
