Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
