If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
