But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize