I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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