In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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