I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Randomize
