Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
