I'm passing your future prison.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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